Thursday, November 04, 2010

Before you fly commercially again...

...ask this important question - "How many goats have you sacrificed for the safety of my trip?" If the answer is less than two, your airline is not living up to the high standards set by Nepal so don't fly over my house because you will soon be coming down in a fiery mangled ball of doom.

7 comments:

Charlene said...

I haven't flown since 1998. I've been driving when I need to and it's worked out just fine. Now if there is a prerequisite number of innocent farm stock I should be sacrificing to drive my 1996 truck, I would appreciate knowing.

Captain Dumbass said...

Does the size of the plane dictate the size of the sacrifice?

Lady Tragic said...

Oh dear, it seems that my fountain of wisdom & wit has run dry. I'm a Pagan and that's even strange to ME. *no livestock has been injured in the typing of this comment.

Muskrat said...

I'm scared.

tiff said...

Good to know.

Note to self: buy goats.

Robin said...

I will keep that in mind.

Grant said...

Charlene - two gophers and a piglet should get you through 2014.

Captain Dumbass - it's a complex equation that involves distance and number of passengers as well. It should be in the next generation of math textbooks. "If plane A leaves airport B with X number of passengers, how many goats must be sacrificed in order to avoid crashing into the ocean?"

Lady Tragic - I wonder if they served the sacrificial goat as an in-flight meal.

Muskrat - just keep some portable sacrificial hamsters in your pockets and you should be safe.

tiff - housecats should work as well if you double the number.

Robin - people always say that, but studies show that in every plane crash the deceased had absolutely no sacrificial livestock on them.