Thursday, April 15, 2010

T-30 days and counting...

Last year I did the classy thing and silently turned 40. By my last recount, the total number of blogpals who bought me gifts / sent me e-greetings / offered anal sex was - 0. So, this year until I turn 40 for the second time, I will be shamelessly reminding you all of my impending agening on this and every other blog in my reader. I know you will all moan and say things like "But Grant, the economy stinks and I need my dough to pay for dialysis for my kitty and I don't really like you that much anyway, I just comment every once in blue moon to keep you off my back", so I'll make it easy for you and will just let you know upfront that failure to gift me this year will result in your death via Zorzan's Voodou Death Curse of Sharty Doom©. If you read that, the curse is already upon thy head. Be aware that my death curses have a 100% success rate over a long enough period of time.

To make things easier for you, I added a quick and ugly link to my Amazon wish list to the side panel and I will add an iTunes link later. Be a dear and help me test the links to see if they are working by buying something for me. The Nintendo DS XL would make for a good test.

Example of a proper gift:

Less expensive Chinese made alternatives:

Click to embiggen the boobied bunnies.

15 comments:

Jay said...

For some reason there isn't a gift card for an hour session with an Asian hooker on your wish list. I'm kind of surprised by this.

Michael from dadcation.com said...

happy birthday! how about if i invite betty to our dinner with avitable?

Kira said...

I guess I count as a pal instead of a blogpal, eh? But I didn't bunny it last year, so I guess I suck anyway ;)

Gib said...

You want a teddy bear keychain? OK, I'll start looking.

Unknown said...

Still working on the mailing problem - can't ship live bunnies anywhere now a days with out 5 permits - USDA, FDA, CDC, Homeland security and the USEPA. Sigh! I had a good one ready to go!

Grant said...

Jay - stupid Amazon and their morals.

Muskrat - yes, bring your bunny pal. Extra points if you get her liquored up. Bonus extra points if you then take everybody else and go away.

Kira - yes, I have promoted you to actual friend, but you did forget to wish me a happy birthday on my birthday last year. Do it again and there will be a less fatal sharty doom curse in it for you.

Gib - I've always wanted one, but didn't feel comfortable asking so I just posted pictures of hot Asian women hoping someone would take the hint.

Whitemist - doesn't UPS ask fewer questions? Too bad the really disreputable ones like RPS don't exist anymore.

Avitable said...

Well, I was going to order you a mail-order bride from Thailand, but now that you're making such a big stink about it, fuck that.

Robin said...

I shipped you a bunny like 2 weeks ago, you mean you never got her?

Grant said...

Avitable - now that I have money again, I'm going to seriously rethink the mail order bride thing. I think I'll add one to my Amazon wish list.

Robin - the post office is holding out on me. I'll go file a complaint immediately.

Unknown said...

I understand and will get you something.

Grant said...

Ricardo - I'm partial to bunny.

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