Monday, March 01, 2010

Dear Mother Nature

I'm sick of scraping ice in the morning and having open sores on my body. Plus I'm tired of all the stupid conversations I have to hold on the way to my cubicle just because I'm wearing a short shirt. "Yeah, I'm from way up North, the Canadian territory called Tennessee. Eh? Aboot? Maple syrup!" This is March already and we're in Georgia, so make with some heat and humidity, bitch.

Hugs and kisses and butt sex,

Grant

12 comments:

GreenJello said...

A friend from California sent a photo of her and her two friends at the Olympics in Vancouver... they're all wearing coats and gloves. There's one lone guy behind them in the photo wearing just a short sleeved shirt.

It wasn't hard to figure out who the Real Canadian was.

GreenJello said...

P.S. This is what you get for gloating last year when I whined about having to scrape my windshield so much.

Robin said...

I'm sick of it all too, is there some way we can at least shorten the winter? I could deal with like 2 months of it I think...maybe 3 if I have to.

Martini said...

So bizarre. We've had almost no snow up here all winter. So, nobody is wearing their toques and mitts and snowmobiling down the streets as usual.

Jay said...

All I want is to be able to start my car up and not have to sit there and let it, and the seat warmers, heat up. Is that too much?

Kerry said...

This morning I had to scrape all the frost off my car to drive 1/2 a mile to the gym only to have it REFROST (WTF!!!?) during the hour I was inside!

I want summer!!!

messiah said...

Dear Grant,
You missed 'back bacon' (although with everything you're going through I'm not surprised you opted out on that one).

But you also missed our National emblem - the Beaver (and all the jokes that go along with that).

GreenJello: I bet the guy was wearing shorts as well - the weather's awfully nice up here right now ;)

April said...

I'm with Robin. Why can't we just have a shorter winter. Like short enough to be all YAY THERE'S PRETTY SNOW, now go away and bring back the warm!

I wish it could be like Spring or Fall all year 'round. Nice and warm, not hot, during the day yet a little chilly at night for snuggling. Not chilly enough for frost though. Fucking Frost!

tiff said...

No kidding, huh?

Dang.

SJ said...

I know my solutions are getting kinda repetitive but won't the snow melt if you set the city on fire?

Captain Dumbass said...

GreenJello's comment about people wearing coats and gloves? It was to show off their Olympic garb, it was actually way too warm to be wearing that stuff.

Grant said...

GreenJello - I'm sure you and your Mormon Voodou witchcraft are behind this.

Robin - can't we just have fall all year long?

Martini - I think we have your snow. A ton of it fell on us on Tuesday. Can we return it?

Jay - seat warmers make me feel like I'm shitting myself, which already happens way too often with my problems.

Kerry - you should just leave the car running all winter.

messiah - I just miss the opportunity to sleep with the Japanese women's curling team.

April - I agree, especially on the snuggling part when Japanese women are involved. They don't have much body fat, so a little chill goes a long way.

April - I agree, especially on the snuggling part when Japanese women are involved. They don't have much body fat, so a little chill goes a long way.

tiff - and I had to drive to my doctor's appointment on Tuesday in a snowswtorm while wearing an open-toed cast.

SJ - I tried, but the city is too damp to light. Maybe in spring.

Captain Dumbass - if they were from Miami, they may have felt the need for gloves if the temps dropped into the low 100's.