Wednesday, January 20, 2010

Wiiview – Wii Fit Plus with Balance Board

By now your resolve to exercise more and eat healthy and shart less and quit cigarettes and booze and heroin and get a raise and convince your girlfriend to try anal sex or convince your boyfriend to stop nagging you to try anal sex might be flagging. And so, to help with the first one, I bring you my review of the Wii Fit Plus program just in time for you to be unable to buy it. Seriously – it’s sold out almost everywhere and the places that are accepting online orders say it is back ordered to the tune of two weeks. Considering it sometimes takes me a month to get things that are currently in stock, that means you should have yours in time for the Turkey and Eggnog Fest at end year when you don't care about exercise.

But don’t let your inability to actually attain one stop you from enjoying it. This is a nice exercise program. Note that I said exercise program and not game. Although it does include various cardio and balance games (and other silly stuff such as putting things on the balance board and trying to guess the weight), its primary purpose is to motivate and track exercise. If you’re looking for a program that can be fun and challenging, this could be for you. If you need to be tricked into exercising, try a sports game or an actual sport, such as competitive eating.

I got this program because I need exercise that can be customized to my reduced fitness level and that would help improve my poor balance. For instance, until recently I have been unable to close my eyes in the shower without touching the curtain rod to keep myself oriented, and I had to ask a friend to change a light bulb for me because I couldn’t look up without falling over. Thanks to Wii Fit +, I can now perform such mundane tasks with the best of them. With a little more training, I could earn a place in the Special Olympics.

In addition to tracking how fat your are and graphing your poor health (note - it does provide the opportunity to hide your weight with a password), it contains activities mostly lumped into four groups: balance games (aka games that are infuriating to me due to my poor balance), cardio activities (aka activities that are infuriating to me due to my poor balance), yoga (aka sissy liberal poofter girly activities that will kick your ass), and strength training (aka stuff that should be called more yoga but isn’t because the yoga ninja monkey masters forgot to copyright it) (I assume that’s what they’re called). Difficulty levels range from “You call that exercise?” (one activity tracks how well you can sit still) (I’m not kidding) to “Makes Superman cry.”

I did identify several shortcomings, however. It tries to set goals but only focuses on weight loss if it thinks you’re overweight, and you are – it said my ideal weight at 5’ 10” / 178 cm should be 153 lbs / 69 kg, although when I was at my ideal weight it was actually 173lbs / 78.5 kg). It allows you to add time spent during non-Fit+ workouts, but it only records information on the day entered and doesn’t include an option to automatically track time spent on other Wii programs. The female trainer-bot is a tad bitchy and makes you want to drop-kick your TV set. And the whole thing is a class-action lawsuit waiting to happen in the U.S. I think it’s funny, but not all fat people are jolly and some may get upset that the program calls them obese in a cutesy voice, makes their Mii character swell up like a balloon, and even makes sounds like they’re hurting the balance board when they step on. I’m still waiting for mine to start gasping for air while screaming “Get off! Get off! Get off!” Still, these are not major complaints, but rather opportunities for Nintendo to improve an already decent product.

Personal rating: 3.5 bunnies.

Bear in mind that my poor health makes the “games” more stressful than fun. Based on my friends’ reactions, most normal people would rate this 4+ bunnies.

Note – I’m eating a bag of Funyuns while writing this.

103 comments:

PBS said...

I want to get one of those. Several friends have them and it seems like it might work. Only if I use it more than the exercise bike, however.

Tracy Lynn said...

I have been thinking a lot about getting a Wii Fit for just that reason, and your review makes me think it would actually be a very good idea.

Crap, I seem to have lost my funny.

tiff said...

I don't think I could make it past the 'this is how fat you are, tubby' portion of that show.

Unknown said...

Now I think I want want one of those things! Does it come with the 3.5 Bunnies?

Jay said...

I'm hoping they come out with a Bunny version of Wii Sex someday soon. You now they won't be able to keep that in stock though.

I think I want one of those Wii Fit thingies. It seems like more fun than just plodding along on the treadmill.

Captain Dumbass said...

I deleted my Mii this weekend so I could start using my Fit again without that bitch getting all uppity on me for not having exercised in so long. I'll have to try the Fit Plus out and see how it is.

I'd like to see the trainer naked.

Unknown said...

I think this is the work of genius... insulting people for being obese. Me like.

Unknown said...

Wii fit had been getting a lot of good buzz so I hope it works well for you.

Building up balance can be done by strengthening your core muscles. Things like tai chi will do wonders for it from what I hear.

Kira said...

I tried Grant's Wii Fit Plus last weekend, and I really did like it. It's been so long since I've done yoga, though, that it kicked my ass :P The next day, I was quite sore from something like 15 whole min. of yoga. So sad! And now I have as a goal to never gain enough weight that the Wii balance board goes "OH!" when you step on it (it did that to both Grant and my husband, and boy did it make me nervous to then step on...but it said nothing). And I picked the guy trainer, and he's cool. I lost my balance on one of the yoga moves and he kindly let it pass. Losing balance and stepping off the board for the guys when they were using the girl trainer, though, resulted in immediate bitching out. No thank you!

Grant said...

PBS - good luck finding one. The online sellers are currently backlogged, and none of the local stores has one in stock.

Tracy Lynn - if you've lost your funny, you must be feeling better. Or you're about to suddenly get older.

tiff - but it calls you obese in a really cute voice.

Whitemist - 3.5 bunnies sold separately, but it does come with AA batteries.

Jay - I've always thought the motion-sensitive Wiimote was just made for erotic games, but Nintendo is trying to keep their product somewhat family oriented.

Definitely better than the treadmill (I have one of those too). With all the variety, you can use all of your muscles instead of just your legs.

Captain Dumbass - they added some games plus I think three exercises each to the yoga and strength training sections - probably not enough to warrant buying the new disk. And mine bitches at me if I take a single day off. Showing the (girl) trainer naked is the least it could do.

SJ - yeah, calling us fat will definitely end the obesity epidemic in this country.

Ricardo - I'm hoping that bunnies find yoga masters sexy. They talk about it a lot in my Japanese lessons.

Kira - it's starting to remind me now that you and Alex haven't been exercising recently, so you need to come visit and let it call you fat again just so it will shut up.

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