Tuesday, January 06, 2009

Interview Meme, pt. 666

Continuing the interview memes with the inexorable religious questions:

From Enemy of the Republic: 3. Why can't you bow down before the altar and admit that you are lost; you need Jesus, brother--what stops you from committing your life to Christ?
And from SJ: 4. What's with all the Satan worship anyway?

My actual religious beliefs are best described as being a non-believer, although I like the terms pagan hedonist, infidel defiler, and godless heathen as well. I don’t like the terms agnostic and atheist because they are christian terms with built-in definitions for why those believers are wrong. According to xtian definitions I’ve heard (repeatedly), an atheist says “I know there is no god” and an agnostic says “I don’t know, but you can’t know either.” Xtians refute both by first saying you can’t know there is no god because you would have to exist on god’s level to ascertain that with absolute certainty (a worthy point), and then they contradict themselves by saying they do know (not believe, but know) there is a god because they see his wondrous majesty in creation and feel his presence in their lives and blah blah skippy zombie jebus w00t gag me with a feckin’ crucifix.

So, rather than provide an answer that automatically has me categorized and dismissed, I like to toss out devil worship because people don’t know what to do with that one. Besides, Satan is way cooler (just look at some of my CD covers), He has the best tunes, and because I think it’s fucking funny. Note – I also like to toss Voodou, cannibalism, and rooster worship in the mix from time to time for a little variety. Plus if I honestly say I don’t believe in god, the xtian reaction is to label me undecided, as if I’m still looking and will come around to their way of thinking when I get my head straight. Verily, I swear now upon no god whatsoever, I will never get my head straight.

I’m not undecided, I just firmly believe that there is no god, at least not as defined by any religion I’ve encountered. Plus which I read a lot of whiny bitch xtian blogs and next to you people (you know who you are) I’m very happy and well adjusted. I don’t have crises of faith. My belief system is secure, meshes well with reality, and is not self-contradictory. It comforts me in times of need, politely gets out of the way in times of joy, and doesn’t require tithing or anally penetrating altar boys. Can your religion do any of that?

And from EotR again: 5. If you are reincarnated because you still have unfinished karma, what lesson do you think you will need in your next life to grow closer to Nirvana?

Remember to kill people when you’re young enough to get away with it (9 is a good age). Don’t waste those precious moments. It’s better to regret what you have done than what you haven’t.

And for those of you who wish I would stop posting words and get back to the bunny pics:

Nurse Bunny!


Enemy of the Republic said...

Bunny pic

Matt said...

Thank God, we were starting to get worried. Tracy suggested we might have to perform a "carefrontation".

Captain Dumbass said...

Mmm, bunnies. Jlist?

Tracy Lynn said...

Bout damn time. I was starting to worry about you. Bastard.

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

Why do they look so young? Please tell me its their genes, they do have laws and regulations right for how old you need to be for these pics right?

SJ said...

Very true about the atheist term. The religious can argue forever over semantics and definition. I don't have the time for it. Actually I do use the term atheist because its available. I mean what do I care the terminology is when the fact remains I don't find get any gifts from the invisible friends others worship.

Grant said...

eotr - bunnies rule!

matt - if you bring the bunnies, I'll order the pizza for us.

cda - bunnies and Jlist rule!

tracy - I'll keep posting bunny pics so you don't worry in the future.

ssc - Japan has child porn laws (more lenient than ours, but still there), but they also tend to like them younger than we do and there are no laws against young models in either country. However, most are adults who just look young. Japanese women tend to look far less than their actual age due to size, genetics, and diet.

sj - just for fun, tell everyone you believe in the Norse gods. Shout "By Thor's hammer!" at random intervals.

Monogram Queen said...

My religion can beat up your (non) religion :P

Grant said...

mq - no way. Satan challenges your zombie hippie god to a steel cage death match.