Wednesday, November 26, 2008

Thanks Heaps

Oh, boy. Bullet time!
Tomorrow is Thanksgiving in this country (U.S.A.), or as I like to call it, Thursday. I hate the holidays because all of my friends are on family patrol, so they pack up and abandon me. But instead of doing a whiny bitchy post (too late), I decided to do the traditional thing and list all for which I am thankful. I am thankful…

  • …for Japanese restaurants, because without them I’d be alone and hungry tomorrow.

  • …for the native Americans, because if we didn’t steal their land I wouldn’t have anywhere to keep my stuff.

  • …that we won WWII since the treaty stipulates that, at any time of my choosing, I can go to Japan, pocket a tiny Asian woman (where woman = female 12yo or older), bring her back home and make her my anal sex slave. I didn’t wiki this, I’m just assuming it’s in the treaty because I can’t think of any other reason for WWII.

  • …that we defeated Korea and Vietnam for the same reasons. War on Thailand, anyone?

  • …for His Satanic Majesty, the High Lord Lucifer, that he gives me religious alternatives to the smothering wave of xtian hypocrites that are fecking up our nation.

  • …for my penis, or as I like to refer to it, my built-in amusement park.

  • …mostly for you, my blogpals, for giving me something to do at work besides work. You are all truly great and appreciated. (ha ha dumb fuckers will believe anything oh wait you’re still typing stop dude stop)



PBS said...

A Happy Thursday to you! (tomorrow)

april said...

Sounds like a great list to be thankful for. But I think you forgot to add Asian porn to the list. I KNOW you're thankful for that.

Anonymous said...

Happy Thanksgiving to you too my dear ♥

Mine has already passed but I will be eating Asian cuisine on yours so in a way we'll be dining together :-)

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

If you DARE delete me, I will send eleventy-thousand J-bunnies to sexually torture you yet give you no release.

Don't forget...I'm a queen. I can do that. I know people.....;)

Oh, by the way, Happy Friggin' Thanksgiving, you evil sprite.

SJ said...

I know I am great even if I am not appreciated.

So whya re you still not in Japan with one of those multi-pocket vests?

Crys said...

you love me! you really love me!

Grant said...

pbs - thanks (today).

april - Asian porn just goes without saying.

jgrrl - I actually ate turkey and dressing, but I'll return to Asian foods tonight.

pq - happy feckin' thanksgiving to you too, stranger.

sj - I'm in a strength training regimen so I can carry back a full duffel bag of them.

crys - oh, yeah? Prove it.

tiff said...

Give ol' Beezelbub a nice smack on the ass for me next time you see him, mmkay? He likes that sort of thing, or so I hear.

Happy Thursday.

Tracy Lynn said...

And Happy Zombie Day to you as well. Pervert.

Grant said...

tiff - he's busy delivering toys this season.

tracy - HZD!