Wednesday, October 29, 2008

Breaking the Fast

So, in an attempt to healthify myself to the point that I’m no longer the shambling half-dead dude that I am, I am attempting to incorporate the most important meal of the day into my routine. My pre-sick workday morning routine went like:

6:30 AM: wake up. Go to the bathroom.
6:45 AM: 30 minutes of cartoons and treadmill.
7:15 AM: shower and shave while miso soup and tea are warming.
7:30 AM: have breakfast, dress, and go to work.

My new routine is:

5:00 AM: wake up. Go to the bathroom.
5:45, 6:30, 7:15, 8:00, and 8:30 AM: wake up. Go to the bathroom.
9:00 AM: drag myself into the office.
9:30 AM: think about having breakfast in the office.
Lunchtime: actually go have breakfast.

Technically, the first meal of the day is breakfast, but I’ve read you’re supposed to eat it within two hours of waking to get the full benefits. I was never a morning person, but these days I lack the energy to even fake it. I don’t want to have to get out of bed any earlier to scramble eggs or anything, so I’ve been wondering what to do. At the office, I live in a cube farm. We have no break area so anything I make here will have to be done with only the use of the plastic utensils in my desk, a community microwave, and the bathroom sink. I do like me some processed pig parts, so I’ve been thinking about frozen breakfast dinners with a cup of oolong tea. I’m going for high protein (and preferably low fat and carb) breakfasts that can be made and eaten at my desk, like tea and beef jerky. Any suggestions?

Hot Bunny!


SJ said...

1, Dig under office.
2, Build cellar with kitchen.
3, Add a bed.
4, Get some of your fav J-Hotties locked up in there.
5, Not only do you get breakfast cooked by her people at work marvel at the long hours you put in.

For tips you should read the story about the Austrian father who kept his daughter locked up in cellar under his own house and raped for for DECADES!!! (

Tracy Lynn said...

I forgot to tell you that you can get bags for your tea. That would cut down on the crap you have to deal with.

messiah said...

Beef Jerky is my go to for high protein, lowish fat in a pinch. Lived off it on a road trip down to SanFran a couple years ago.

You can toss a couple eggs in a mug and nuke it - that's pretty quick and easy.

I usually grab a couple of bagels (If they're fresh you can skip toasting and covering them in fat laden product) and a dozen almonds.

You may also want to go with a meal replacement bar for breakfast. Unwrap, and voila. Eat it on the drive in.

Just for routine comparison, I'm at work by about 7:15.... but know what you mean by dragging your ass out of bed.

Anonymous said...

My routine:

Wake up.
Get out of bed.
Stomp, scowl.
Wake tween grrl.
Stomp, scowl.
Set java pot to go.
Stomp, scowl.
Yell at tween grrl.
Stomp, scowl.
Yell at hubby guy.
Stomp, scowl.
Go get angry Weemale out of room.
Stomp, scowl.
Yell at hubby guy.
Stomp, scowl.
Pour java.
Stomp, scowl.
Stomp, scowl. Sit.

Swallow 90mg codeine, swallow plethora of current maintenance dope. Place heating pad on gut. Drop everything and run to bathroom. Run back to save Weemale from certain death (downside of a climber) sit for three minutes then run back to bathroom.

Repeat most of above at least twice more and then kiss tween and hubby guy as they run out the door, late as usual.

Turn on toons for Weemale.

*sigh deeply*

Stacy The Peanut Queen said...

Damn....I'm already parking my Tahoe when you wake up and piddle in the morning.

I really need to hit the damn lotto...I am SO over being a fucking morning person. ;)

And beef jerky and coca-cola pretty much made up my entire nutritional pyramid back in the

Joe said...

Almonds and protein bars would be my choices.

I do, however, believe the MacGyver could have made a five course meal using only plastic utensils in your desk, a community microwave, and the bathroom sink. Perhaps you're just not applying yourself.

But I'm pretty sure that sj already gave the winning suggestion.

Grant said...

sj - unfortunately, under my cubicle is two more floors of cube farms. The Austrian story is interesting, but I don't find any of my relatives attractive enough to imprison and rape. I'll stick with the Japanese bishoujo games.

tracy - are you talking pre-bagged teas, or bagging my own tea. I might just stick with brewing pots at home and bringing the tea ball to work.

messiah - I may try the meal bars at work. I hate to eat and drive, especially when the commute to work is so much more interesting than sitting at my desk.

jgrrl - couldn't you just shout at everyone from bed?

pq - I'm avoiding sugar, but I'm thinking beef jerkey and tea might be my thing.

joe - applying myself sounds an awful lot like work, and I avoid that in the mornings. Seriously, this morning I couldn't remember my zip code so I had to wait to place my Amazon order in the afternoon.

Avitable said...

I'd suggest protein shakes and a microwaveable breakfast burrito.

Kira said...

I guess potato chips are high carb, so that won't fit your criteria....

I, personally, like salami. I know I shouldn't have it too often due to the nitrates, but it's a nice, quick snack that is portable and takes care of hunger very readily. That's my backup if I don't have time to toast an English muffin with cheese or scramble up some eggs (my usual breakfast items during the work week).

metalmom said...

5:30 Wake up and turn on coffee and take dog out to pee.

5:45 Jump back into bed..preferably into Hubs' warm spot.

7:45 Get up, pull on robe, get coffee

8:00 Open the door for babies, play and tickle them all day!

I like Avitable's idea for breakfast. It works for me on my busy days.

SSC~ The Domestic Diva said...

Grant get the south beach diet frozen and refrigerated meals. They also have snack bars.

Tea bags are always nice, however you have to steep them for awhile, why not go for instant?

Drink plenty of water!!!!!

Grant said...

avi - would that be with or without the chocolate sauce? Breakfast burrito - that's a thought.

kira - salami and oolong. That works.

metalmom - when you open the door for the babies, are you letting them out to play? I'm sure the electric fence keeps them corralled.

SSC~ - I'll look at the South Beach stuff. Thanks.

Kerry said...

Breakfast is the most important meal. It gives you the boost you need to start your day and gets your metabolism going. Eat up!

Are you still battling that illness? This is like the longest case of pneumonia or something...