I met a local Japanese woman who waits tables (ironically) at a Thai restaurant, and we’ve really hit it off. She’s very nice, easy to talk to, and extremely cute. Unfortunately, she’s a tad young for my tastes, plus I find her a little too married. *minor sigh* Still, she’s new to the area and seems eager to make friends, and I certainly have no objection to that, especially since she’s one of the rare Japanese people who, if I speak Japanese to her, will actually respond instead of staring at me like I’ve just morphed into a psychotic dolphin hurling invectives from my diseased blowhole. Which is nice.
So, I eat at her restaurant a couple of times a week (I love the curry chicken dishes), we chat, and I’ve invited her and her husband out to meet some of my friends – some local, some not, some Japanese, some European, some American. So far she has politely refused every offer, although always with reason and she hasn’t avoided me afterwards. She works most days of the week, Sunday being her only assured day off, and her husband’s job requires him to frequently work weekends. I don’t know what he does, but since they don’t own a car (which is vital in the Atlanta metro area) and his hours are as bad as hers and since he only learns his schedule at the beginning of the week, I’m assuming he’s not upper management for a major securities firm.
So, today I made two more attempts to promote her from friendly waitress to actual friend. I sent a request to the JASG to hold our next Young Professional dinner at her restaurant. If I can’t bring her to the others, I’ll try to bring them to her. Also, I invited every Japanese person I have met to a free dinner at a local 焼き鳥 restaurant. Depending on how many people the others invite, we could be looking at about 20 people (二十人) in attendance. After inviting the others, I tried to subtly (or not so subtly) pressure my new potential friend into joining with the following angles of attack:
- This is a group gathering, certainly not a date, so it won’t kill her if she has to attend without her husband.
- The food is free.
- The location is across the street from where she lives.
- Many Japanese will be in attendance, some with important ties to the local Asian community.
- Several have expressed an interest in meeting her.
I think I've done all I can short of abducting her. She hasn’t confirmed yet since she doesn’t know her husband’s schedule for that Sunday, so I told her I would make reservations for them anyway and that hopefully she could join even if he can't. If she doesn’t join this time, should continue to invite them out? Maybe I could extend the offer from time to time, but I wonder if I’m just making her uncomfortable.
What do you think? Keep up the invites since she doesn’t seem to be avoiding me? Back off a little? Drop it altogether? Put her in a headlock until she passes out, drag her home, and make 肉じゃが out of her? Or would she also go better with curry?