A lot of black people I have known throughout the years have told me I don’t know what it’s like to be black, and they’re absolutely right. The problem with their assertion is that while we’re both agreed that white people don’t know what it’s like to be any other color, they think they have my white ass completely figured out. I think some believed the Eddie Murphy Saturday Night Live skit on the subject to be a factual documentary. If you haven’t seen the skit, it basically claimed that when black people were not around, white people threw parties and gave each other free stuff like newspapers and unlimited access to the bank vault.
I’m not going to pretend that I have it worse than anybody else because of my skin color. I don’t really know how bad it is for other people, and I mostly don’t care since whining never solved any problem, unless the problem was a lack of whining. But I do believe that racism and other forms of prejudice are universal and that almost everybody has suffered from one sort or another. For example, due to my status (white American hetero male under forty) I have been:
- Denied service at Denny’s
- Given un-preferential treatment at other restaurants
- Denied service at a grocery store, by both the cashier and management
- Passed over for employment several times
- Tested more harshly on employment exams
- Denied scholarships and other college tuition assistance despite having good grades and an income (at the time) around $12k per year
Okay, now here’s your assignment: Post a quick tale of a time in which you were the victim of some form of prejudice, either in my comments section or on your own blog (leave a comment informing me if you choose the latter). If you can honestly say it has never happened to you, leave a comment saying that as well. If you’re silent, I’m going to label you a chicken and assume you didn’t contribute because you don’t have the guts or honesty to stand up and admit the problem is a little more widespread than is popularly advertised. As punishment, I will post nekkid pictures of you on this blog. :p
Kira – you’re exempt. I already know you lead a charmed life, and frankly I’m a little sick of hearing about it. You’re just lucky you live far away and will never get close enough to me that I can make your life miserable. :p
49 comments:
HAHA! Oh really? You'll NEVER get close enough to me to make me miserable? Hmmm. I'm not so sure about that one!
I even luck out when going abroad. I was told in England that I must be a Canadian because I was too smart and nice to be an American, so even there I was not picked upon or discriminated against. The English certainly treated me way better than the Welsh or Scottish (or French!), that's for sure! I promise to let you know the second I am discriminated against for reasons of skin color, gender, religious beliefs, or whatnot, ok?
Well.... I don't want to come off sounding like a pompous ass or stuck on myself but here goes. What the hell.
Growing up as an upper middle class, college educated, attractive caucasion female I don't think i've ever been discriminated against. I think being attractive works as a free pass sometimes. I know i've used it to my advantage both in business and personal life.
Now, my husband will tell you that the caucasion male is really the only minority around who is discriminated against these days.
I get a little tired of hearing people complain about how their ethnic group is treated. If anyone has the right to bitch, it is women. Since the beginning of time we have been crapped on by every race and population in existence. And although we have made huge strides in the last 100 years in civilized countries, we are still not treated equal. Where is the women’s reparations fund? Oh, there is none. We don’t want it, we just want to be equal, and giving us money is NOT equal. So to all the races that whine of the injustice of their enslavement, prejudice and treatment, I say look around. Women are still property, beat, sold, raped and discriminated against everyday and often legally. And half the time it is in the good old US of A.
I have actually heard many times that Caucasian males are the most discrimated against jobwise. I know when I worked at the oil company there seemed to be an inordinate amount of blacks and particularly females being hired en masse so I truly believe they were meeting some kind of quota.
That said, you can't tell me being a blonde female doesn't generate discrimation. I get comments to the effect that people are very surprised I have a working brain. (I do, honest.) Also, I distinctly remember as a child how salespeople always waited on adults first. Always. I was totally pissed about that because I would be ahead of them and my money was just as good as theirs and yet I had to wait until their shopping needs were met.
Not horrific examples, but it does qualify as a contribution. :P
kira - I think patti_cake may have identified part of your situation. People want to have sex with you, therefore they treat you well. I have seen racist guys fawn over attractive black women, even though they thought they were inferior due to their skin color.
patti_cake - see my response to Kira above.
liz - your opinion is quite cute. :p
circe - yes, I don't have any tales like people dressing in black sheets and lighting a lower-case letter "t" in my front yard, just a bunch of missed opportunities.
Grant, I for one believe racism is a 'human invention' and I have posted my theories on two occasions.
I am of mixed race and I have adopted a child of color.
To me the problems we experience with one another are driven purely by a learned condition. A human invention of 'race differences', if you will.
This leads to the problem you address in your post.
The people that believe those of darker color skin (read: current liberal demagogues of the Democratic Party)are inferior, insist on setting up 'built-in' advantages for those of color. Because, of course, 'we are inferior to white people' and need a lot of help and these white libreals feel very guilty for being superior and all.
We are neither inferior or superior however and all that happens is that people are placed in professional positions in which they do not belong leading to racial resentment and misunderstandings. (the great sin of affirmative action)Trust my understandings; I have a front row seat in this arena.
Just this weekend the comedy of being of mixed race was brought home to me again. I am a track athlete (one who runs fast) A fellow athlete walked up to me and said "What does it feel like to be the only white dude on your team?" I said, "I'm not all-white."
He laughed and said "That's what everyone says after watching you run". Two flagrant and insensitive comments rolled into one; and he issued it with a smug laugh.
Later my friend; blog on.
"Go blind and then you will truly see."
Grant, I feel as though the cowards among your readership are being discriminated against. Also, I feel like the lazy are being called cowards.
- You warned us that it would be a long post.
- I'm too lazy to read that much.
- I didn't comment because I was too lazy to read the post.
- I was called a coward because I'm lazy.
That being said, I've been around prejudice. (And bullet points are cool.) I felt horrible for a friend of mine who was called an oreo in high school because he looked black and hung out with white kids. (He actually hung out with Asian kids, and he was half black and raised mostly by his German mother. His father was also in his life a lot, but the parents had been separated.)
I've been called white boy a few times. I've been called hakujin a few times. I just laughed it off. It's not entirely accurate. I've also heard that people didn't want to say anything about me based on appearances because I look like I'm half white and half something that they can't identify. (For some reason they rarely guess Asian.)
I told this story on someone else's blog. But anyways when I was working as a trainer in undergrad we had a soccer game @ Clemson which is the whitest, hickest, shit hole in the South. So I was riding with two coaches, the head trainer and the SID and they were all white guys (I'm black and yellow and red).
So we stop at a Cracker Barrel of all places and it took forever to get my food and anything to drink. There were absolutely NO non-white people in there other than me and people were looking like why is that colored gal sitting with all those white guys? The waitress bitch ignored my orders and everything. So I had to sit and wait probably a good 20 minutes after everyone else had been served. They claimed they didn't have what I wanted ready and it would take more time. The guys I was with definitely noticed it. So the SID started putting his arm around me and playing with my hair to make it even worse. We all cracked up but it was definitely a jacked up situation.
That was the only time I can honestly say I've experienced discrimination of sorts and it was blatant in my face. I haven't had many issues, probably b/c people don't know what the hell I am.
rick - you didn't say which races went into the mix. Technically I'm mixed because a tiny part of me is Cherokee, but you'd never know it to look at my snakebelly skin.
doug - geez, you Americans sure are an uppity bunch. :p That's the way to handle it - keep 'em guessing so they won't know whether or not to hate you.
stiltwalker - you would think that a name like CRACKER Barrel would serve as a warning. Now, if I can only find a place called the Usagi Barrel... :p Seriously, it seems like I've heard more tales of discrimination with that chain than any other. Somebody once told me her sister was turned down for employment with them becuase she was gay, although I don't know how CB knew that.
I'm pretty sure i've been a victim... i'm just trying to think of a time.
It has worked FOR me in the past... being female and not male...
I have been turned down for employment because I wasnt enough Native American.
Grant,
My mother is the product of a black Philadelphia laborer moving south and discovering a Mexican illegal migrant farm worker in west Texas. My mother is the product of the romance.
My father was a white cotton farmer in deep west Texas. He moved the family to the urban area of Dallas after experiencing much 'quiet discrimination' in deep west Texas.
I am therfore fast like a black dude, capable of drinking vast amounts of Corona like a Mexican dude, and naturally very smart like all white dudes. And best of all I remain unconfused.
I didn't call it "Diary of a Middle-aged White Guy" fer nothin'. Enter "middle-aged white guy" into any search engine. I was once denied access to a skating rink 'cuz my hair was too long. I lost my job as a TV reporter 'cuz I was too old (well, that and the drinkin'). Too easy.
When I was seven, I went to the public library with my brothers, in Salem, OR. As we were coming out, we had to walk through a big group of black kids. They focused on me, the blonde haired, blue eyed, white girl, and started taunting me. The next thing we knew, they had surrounded us, cut me off from my brothers, and started beating six kinds of crap out of me. I don't know what would have happened if my dad hadn't shown up.
Let's not even start on the many discriminatory employment practices against women, shall we? We'll just accept that as read.
When I was 15 i worked at a Chinese restaurant - I got sacked cause I wouldn't go out with the owners nephew.... Does that count?
Other than that - Haven't had a problem - attractive, intelligent & most importantly - more front than Walmart - I usually get what I want by asking (shock value) - its great.....
kerry - how Native American did you have to be? I might be able to get that job if they want somebody who looks completely white and knows next to nothing about his heritage.
rick - interesting ethnicity. You must be able to offend all sorts of ignorant folks without even trying. I wonder if my recent Japanese conversion will help me hack off Whitey.
whiteguy - still a touchy subject for the limosine liberals who want us all to believe prejudice only works against black people and women.
tracy - there are discrimination practices against women? Honestly, I've only worked for mea corporations, but every one preferred women over any man, regardless of skills. In corporate America, women are the new minority.
bluebolt - I'm seeing a pattern here. Many attractive women have been spared. I've read stories about members of the KKK who kept black mistresses - I guess the mindset is "Yes, she's inferior to me, and if I keep my trap shut about it maybe I'll get some sex."
tracy - mea = mega
my fathers grandparents migrated from south china (canton) to vietnam and worked buying oil in the towns and carrying it on their shoulders into the country to sell. His parents set up shop in the town of Da Lat and raised kids. He, along with his brothers had to escape after the war, across vietnam, laos, cambodia and thailand to seek refuge. my uncle (the eldest) was held prisoner for many years before getting out.
My mother's grandfather ran away from home in north china to marry a girl and moved to malaysia. He was a mathematician and teacher and his first wife ran away while he was held political captive in the war because she was smuggling people - she gave away her baby girl too. My mother's father started life in the slums and worked as a messengerboy at the races - now he owns and races the horses.
I know a lot about hardship, every day i am thankful i have never been subject to discrimination because of my race, age, socio-economic situation, religion.
Of course we're uppity! It's our [deity of your choice]-given right to be uppity!
On the topic of offending people, I've got some questions. Are you hoping to offend whites or Japanese or both with your Japanese conversion? Do you even care? Would it offend you if you offend nobody?
I don't remember that blog, so I probably didn't comment on it, but don't call me coward--them fighting words where I come from. Anyway, I will tell you one: growing up on the South Side of Chicago, I was sometimes the only or one of two white kids in a classroom of African American children. Because of that, I was mercilessly teased. The worst thing happened when a girl in my class told her sister that I said something that I had not. I was walking home from school, and I got jumped and beaten up by a gang of girls, who then stole my backpack. So I've had my issues. And girls, white or black or whatever, are mean in fights-worse than boys.
Enemy: I hear ya'. I remember being in high school. If two boys fought, you probably couldn't tell after it was over. If two girls fought, you'd find clumps of hair, bloody earrings, etc. It was always a mess when girls fought. If anything, I think the boys were afraid of actually getting hurt.
The Place: The Blue Bayou Restaurant at Disneyland-California.
The Time: 1995, Summer
My girl and I, being in our mid-twenties and looking like within our late-teens were passed over service by our supposed waitress for a senior citizen couple who arrive after us, and were served drinks, dinner and dessert before our piss warm water had even arrived on our mahogony-stained table. F*ck'n BITCH!
In my first job our project manger was a neither tall nor handsome just dark and he was fat he was one of the Wacko Christians I blogged about recently. H ehad a "thing" for teh gals in my team. Most of us the gusy and the girls were fresh out of college so I guess this was the only place where he could get close to college age girls... I was denied promotion and rewards just because I was male and not a Christian.
In school we had another of the Wacko Christians in my math teacher. His hatred of male non-christians was very obvious.
Funnily enough it was the so called minorities who tend to gang together and keep others out. Since I am not very good at discrimnating my own people aren't fans either. I am being punished for being open-minded.
Doug,
When I was a teacher, I had to break up fights a lot. I wouldn't hesitate to go near a boys fight, even once with an eight kid pileup, but I refused to go near girls. It's all that pent up rage we females have--against each other, against men, against authority, you name it...girls are a lot angrier than boys, but they mask it better for social and cultural demands.
I grew up poor and all of us kids suffered from ignorant, mean, richer kids who made fun of our hand-me-down clothes.
I was a tomboy and would beat them up. Back in my day that didn't get me into trouble like it would now. My older brother decked some older tuffies on the school bus once, too. They learned to leave us alone but would still point and whisper.
Later, I was passed over for a plum university job that I really wanted. They needed to "make quota." I'm sure there's more, but that's enough for now.
I'm overweight, over 30 and a female. Do you really need an example?
I don't know if this is discrimination as much as it is just insensitive. I recently went shopping with my mom for a dress for her to wear to a class reunion. My mom is a size 10 and short so we were looking for the Petite section. We asked a saleswoman in the dress section if they had a Petite dress section. She responded by saying that the Plus section was upstairs. I asked again thinking she just misheard us. Again she responded by stating the Plus section was upstairs. I asked if she had size 10 dresses in her department and she said yes. I said "then we don't need the Plus section". I looked at my mom and, in front of the sales woman said, "I think she's trying to tell us that we're fat. You'd think people that work on commission would have better manners". We both laughed and walked out of the store. She wasn't willing to help us in any way because obviously we were too fat to buy clothes in her department.
I've actually had that happen on several occasions.
fatty - it's great that you are both free from prejudice and not ignorant of its ravages. It seems you have a lot of opportunities available to you while benefiting from your parents' experiences.
doug - I mostly don't care, although I sometimes wonder why I can say whatever I want with no comeuppance while people nicer than me draw mean comments.
enemy - I've learned from working as a bouncer than women can be either better or worse than men, but rarely on the same level. Men get into a fight and you have to physically pry them apart, but they're rarely insanely mad. Women can sometimes be controlled by a male presence with a deep voice ("Allright, break it up"), but when they go at it, even the toughest bouncers are a little hesitant to wade in.
johnb - that'll teach you to be young. :p A lot of restaurants I've worked for have the mindset that young people are cheap and therefore deserve worse service. Ironically, I found the cheapest customers to be the Senior Citizens. Many are on fixed incomes, and some are still operating on price ranges that are decades old. I remember many times that they left me a quarter as a tip.
sj - that's what you get for being a non-xtian, unlike our beloved leader George Jebus W. Crast Bush. :p Cultural note - I've always had problems with Indian names, wondering if they are male or female. Apparently it's not just me. In my current position, I deal with several online learning students from India. One just copied me on an e-mail to a woman named Marsha, beginning with the opening "Dear sir". At least he was polite. I do everything I can to avoid saying he or she, instead calling them the student or by their name.
pbs - I'm refining my theories on prejudice. It seems that women suffer the effects less, except when poor or dealing with other women. I grew up poor as well, but I lived in a remote farming community in Kentucky where most people were relatively poor.
angie - yes, I was asking for an example, but I think that counts. I wasn't looking specifically for racial prejudice, any type would do. I haven't had problems with male salesmen other than they tend to view all customers as lower than dirt.
I'm so sick of people hiding behind their skin color. It only happens in this country too. Stop mooching off the government and the hard working tax payers.How about pull up your pants (no one wants to see your underwear), get a pair of shoes that fit your feet, brush your hair, roll up your sleeves and get a phucking job. If you can afford the gold teeth and heavy gold chains my white ass shouldn't be supporting your vices. Geez!
HAHA. You can be completely white... but you need a card proving your degree of Indian blood. I guess the highest amount gets the job... I have the card, but i'm very white too. However, i've met blonde hair, blue eyed... pale... Indians that are more 'indian blood' than me!
I think it is about time I link your site...cool?
Maybe you do draw mean comments, but you just don't give two $h!ts. It's hard to argue your point with someone if they just don't care.
I went to grade school in rural Virginia, and repeatedly got my ass beaten for being a "pretty white girl"
When I lived in L.A. in my early years, I never once had anyone yeild in traffic - until I went blonde.
I've lost casino jobs to American Indians because I'm not "brown enough".
I'm constantly being ignored at auto parts stores because I'm female.
Bikers don't take me seriously because I'm female.
I don't speak Spanish while living in New Mexico~ I need to learn how to say "cheeseburger" so that I can order food to go along with my beer....
Son of a bitch blogger just lost my comment - AGAIN.
All I said was I believe you know my high school experience during the racial riots in the late 60s/early 70s.
Then I added ...
And call me chicken shit again and I'll, I'll ... I'll be insulted again. Dammit.
girlgoyle - assuming you weren't being sarcastic about it only happening in the US, a fellow blogpal has told me that the muslims in France constatly protest the French, even to the point of carrying signs that read "French people go home".
kerry - I don't have the card since I don't maintain tribal affiliation. Regardless of how those white people treated us in the past, I don't approve of how they handle themselves these days.
johnb - cool.
krisbtterfly - I used to be the minority in my neighborhood in Birmingham. Of course, I'm also a large scary white dude with a creepy vibe, so my racist experiences were always in corporate America.
doug - seriously, in nearly two years of blogging, I've gotten exactly three mean-spirited comments, and all were from xtians offended with my non-xtian rhetoric. But you're right - it didn't bother me in the least.
mg - I went to grade school in rural Kentucky and didn't have a problem since the few people that lived there were all white, except one Cherokee family. They actually got preferential treatment at school because they were all good looking.
weary hag - I always highlight and copy (ctrl-c) my comments before I post because it looses them so often.
Rick'c comment #1 is right on. This, coming from a brown guy. One point of disagreement, though: we ARE different if only because we look different and those differences are fair game for joking around. Mind you, like any kind of joking around, I suppose we've got to be a little sensitive to the posibility of hurting other's feelings (though it painsmeto say admit it!).
One more thing, why do folks from New York claim to be so ethnically diverse? They may well be, but their various ethnicities are all bottled up in their own little neighborhoods and don't mix much. That ain't healthy either, but that wasn't the question.
I get mean comments from Christians, and I am one. But I don't always toe the party line; I'm into the human race, not pristine behavior that spells hypocrisy and denial--it's hard to explain. And Doug is right; I bet you are a hard man to insult; you'd be laughing too hard.
actually i seemed to of missed your post on that.I probably didn't go back far enough to catch up the other day.I think there is discrimination everywhere whatever your race.My boss won't employ anyone not white,anyone under 30 or anyone who doesn't dress smartly.
I'm a "Christian Lesbian"...shall I say more? Read my comment section when I speak of religion. It's enough to show you how ugly people can be when others live differently than you---or have a different sexual orientation. Discrimination is everywhere unfortunately--especially those who are not familiar with unknown races, religions and lifestyles.
I can't pick just one point in which I was discriminated against lol I've gotten it from blacks, whites, chinese (and other asiatics); however, not from Native Americans. That's probably because I don't know but one full blooded native american. So there's that.
I'll say this on the matter, the most memorable prejudiced thing I've ever experienced was when a girl told me that we could stay together for as long as we agreed to stay together, but she would not marry me because I wasn't full chinese and her parents would never allow her to marry someone that was a mutt. Yes she actually used the word mutt. WtF. She was good in bed though...I'm just sayin'. We broke up after that conversation though.
While I'm sure that have been times where I've been mistreated simply on the basis of a stereotype, I think the issue is that mistreatment of caucasians isn't as pervasive as it is for other ethnicities. Perhaps that's why we notice it so easily, and are so easily offended by it. I'll buy the argument of reverse racism when someone can point out instances of systemic bigotry directed against people like me - and not just one-off instances.
I hope Liz punches you in the face for that "cute" crack.
I work in O&G and the good ole boy network, while vast enough to include, whites, blacks and asians, isn't quite to open it's doors to women. It's Texas, Oil & Gas and I don't have a penis... my glass ceiling isn't going anywhere.
grant: okay, I have an IQ of about 14, and because of this, I have never been picked upon or discriminated against. Store clerks pony up pennies when I need them, children say the most adorable things when I am around, all men open doors for me, and everyone just gives me the biggest smile. No complaints here!
Actually, I have been passed over for a promotion - long time ago. Another employee (a black lady) told me that I was passed over because I was white, and it "would not look good." The person who received the promotion also was less educated (not a college grad) than me.
Stiltwater said: "Clemson which is the whitest, hickest, shit hole in the South". Apparently you have not been to small towns in Alabama. I have black friends who won't travel through the state.
Well I have not experienced it enough to comment on it but the place where I'm going (Singapore) they have this ratio 60:30:20. Everything works on that. Your employer will recruit 60% Chinese, 30%, Indian and 20% other races...the apartments you live in will be 6:3:2...the whole block will be 6:3:2!
mmmmmmm, being a 6' amazon I have just taken peoples reactions in course over the years.(some of the reactions were demeaning) I can not affect their reactions, only mine. At least in my case, with the generations getting larger, I do not stand out like I used to.
I do agree with your premise that we can not really walk in others shoes, only guess how they fit.
why were you denied service in denny's & a grocery store?
i've been ignored.. looked at like i was crazy for stepping into some places... i get it all types of ways.. the one i hate most is being ignored.. bitch! i know you see me!!
granted.. you probably didnt want me to comment on this issue b/c ur trying to make a point.. but i dont care! :-p an incident that sticks out the most is when i was younger, i used to play basketball for my church.. my church team was all black & all the others were all white.. the refs would cheat so bad in the games for the other teams.. but you know what? cheaters never win b/c we'd still kick their asses! but it's crazy that as a child just trying to have fun, i was exposed to that
i agree w/ you that me being me and you being you - neither of us will ever know how it is to be the other person... but all the prejudice & racism that does exist in the world is really sad & needs to stop. we're all people regardless of skin color and that's what we need to focus on
ok im done :-)
anchovy - you're right, New Yorkers are racially ignorant wankers. :p
enemy - I'm just surprised that more people haven't tried to insult me. The few genuine
mean comments I did receive were all from supposed Christians, though.
hellbunny - employers find the strangest things on which to base their discriminations. I was turned down for a job because (I later discovered) the man thought all former soldiers were burned-out psychos on drugs.
~deb - yes, say more. And you're right - religious peoples can be the worst with their strict views and intolerance.
prata - you should have kept her around for the sex. If she likes to sleep with mutts, give her my e-mail addy - I'm a mix of British, Irish, German, French, and Cherokee. And, yes, we Native Americans rule.
joe - thanks for your wussy white liberal guilt contribution. :p
melissa - your problems are also cute. :p You should move east and join BS. You'll hate it, but the glass ceiling is not a problem there.
leesa #1 - I think attractive women of all races face it less than men, at least based on my observations and the comments above.
leesa #2 - you should have said "You know what would look good? Your brains splattered on the wall behind you." Then they would have a valid reason for not promoting you.
leesa #3 - although I lived in Birmingham instead of a tinier remote town, I think Alabama's reputation for racism and stupidity outweigh the reality (although it's still bad). On the other hand, like Stiltwalker and Kira have mentioned, it seems like South Carolina is ground zero for white redneck racism. The only man I ever heard openly use the word "nigger" came from there.
refleXtion - do they have any margin to play with? If a Chinese guy moves away, do you and a white person have to evacuate immediately? :p
mal - you should go to Japan and scare the crap out of them. Bride of Godzilla! :p
ttd - I'll post about that today. Thanks for your contribution - I just wasn't specifically calling on my black blogpals because I think most of us have heard about us whiteys mistreating you. So, then, aparently white people really can't jump. :p
I saw something similar when I boxed in high school. It wasn't racial, but locals vs. out-of-towners. We went to Chattanooga and kicked butt, but the refs kept favoring the local boys.
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