Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Calling All You Angels

I'm updating the profile I put together for the ideal Mrs. Zorzan. Here is the latest:
  • Ethnically Asian
  • Interested in Japanese culture and language
  • Australian attitude
  • Scottish accent
  • Prediliction for Catholic schoolgirl or American cowgirl outfits

If there's anyone out there fitting that description, please know that I love you and am willing to marry you RIGHT NOW!

*UPDATE* - For the Catholic schoolgirl uniform, I would prefer it to be slightly punk - combat boots and ripped stockings would be nice. Plus a nice spiked leather bracelet.


Anonymous said...

i am a non asian redneck pot smoking bad ass. i have 15 pairs of classic cowboy boots -3 of which were custom built for me in good ol mexico. i am an heiress as well, and will end up with land spreading out so far and wide you cant see the end of it. i am a way seriously good looking green eyed smart as a whip angel.

too bad i dont fit the profile as i like your picture very much. sigh

hellbunny said...

Wiping my brow in a sigh of relief.I don't fit any of those decriptions.Just kidding.Good look finding her Zorzan.

The Stiltwalker said...

damn a southern black girl can't get no love on your end...

~Deb said...

Hmmm....I'm a Christian republican lesbian with Asian-like eyes, however, no Scottish accent---BUT---I drink like the Irish and love sushi. Does that count?

The lesbian part could really throw you for a loop, huh? There I go 'labeling' myself again. *sigh*

Ayako said...

Those are some interesting conditions you've got there! Good luck =D

Uchi no neko ni tsuite no komento wo arigatou =D

3/5. Hehe. BTW, did you end up figuring out your language input settings on your computer?

Melissa said...

Nothing about me is Asian but sushi rocks my socks, lived in Scotland for a year and I still have my precious little uniforms from private school; plaid skirt, knee socks and all. As a Texan I say y'all a lot, but I'm Italian with black hair and green eyes... Ah well, better luck next time, eh?

Mr Q said...

Hmm. I recommend

- Miko Lee
- Asia Carrera
- Kobe Tai

Of course unless you have divorced them already. I for one can't let go.

Grant said...

anonymous - you sound like a great catch, all except for the land thing. There's no way I'd want to take that on with a push mower.

hellbunny - yes, it was a close call for you. :p But I think finding this woman will be next to impossible.

stiltwalker - don't worry, until I find her I'm still available for all women to reject.

~deb - actually, I have more issues with Christian and Republican than lesbian, so consider yourself still in the running in case Madelene ever dumps you for, I don't know, blogging about her poor shoe sense.

ayako - do itashimashite. I saved the instructions you sent me, but haven't had time to look at it yet. Domo arigato gozaimasu.

melissa - if you're willing to squint and get a light tan, I'll consider you a J-usagi.

mr q - I may have to add a "no porn star" clause on the list. Not because I'm a prude, but after working with some of the guys they have, I don't think there's anything I can whip out that will impress them.

patti_cake said...

WELL don't we have quite the laundry list of requirements LOL Please keep us updated on this quest, I, for one, am mightily interested!

april said...

I do the punk catholic school girl thing quite often. Complete with pigtails and a blowpop. As a matter of fact, the outfit is in the trunk of my car this very moment. Don't ask why.

ManNMotion said...

Turns out I know a half Japanese, half Aussie woman who teaches at a Catholic school.

Grant said...

patti_cake - I think this is going to be a nearly impossible find, but I'll be sure to tell everybody if I'm successful.

april - it's good that you're prepared, although I'm not sure about the pigtails and blowpop. My ideal woman is not supposed to be (or look) underaged.

mannmotion - tell her that I love her. Can she do a Scottish accent?

Prata said...

Oh...I'm sure I could train a girl or two I know to fit your scottish issue.

Aside from that, not a big deal! eheh

My conditions are much simpler, why am I always on the losing end? WTH, man!

If I find anyone with the qualities you're lookin' for I'll abduct (err..invite??) and bring her to a mutual location for you!

fatty ~ said...

damn. no accent.

i do go to a christian school - but not cruel intention style.
You'll never see me in a cowgirl outfit. Ever.

Libélula said...

Damn!!! You're picky...I can't do accents, I'm Hispanic so there's no way in Hell I can pass for Asian...I do love Japanese Culture and the Dressing up part sounds super fun!!!

Eternity said...

Well well, look at that. You don't like a single thing about me:)

Just Some Gal said...

Damn, I'm tall... Strawberry blonde... And Blue Eyed...

Ah well, I love sushi, drinking, am very much agnostic...and well, whatever.


If I ever wanted to fit that profile I'd need a transmorgifier. lol

I will definitely keep an eye though for you, CDA is the only NON-asian in his department at work!

fatty ~ said...

Well mister Int.Security adviser - you've found a foolpoof way to get 17 ladies to attempt to prove themselves to you. I commend you.

Joe said...

Well done, Grant. You've not only proven wrong any woman that thinks that men don't know what they want, but you've managed to capture the interest of several women who (sadly) don't meet your exacting standards.

Brilliant, my friend. Simply brilliant.

Grant said...

prata - thanks. Tell us more about your girl training skills. :p

fatty - no accent? Not even an Australian one?

libelula - you can't do a Dominican accent? Note - remember, only Americans have no accent. We speak in the original English, unlike the Brits who copied us and messed it up.

eternity - not true. There's nothing stopping you from wearing the cowgirl outfit.

blondie - it's a sad day in America when a large-breasted blonde woman is no longer the standard. :p

fatty - yes, this worked better than I ever hoped. And here I was worried I would get a bunch of comments calling me a sexist pig with yellow fever.

joe - yes, I've managed to get rejected more times in one day than most men do in a month. I am, if nothing else, highly efficient.

fatty ~ said...

well, i did mean no scottish accent. I do have an australian accent - but city aussie. Not that country crocodile dundee stuff [i didn't know people talked like that till i watched crocodile dundee]

Anonymous said...

fatty-you dont wear cowboy boots? ever? you dont live where the snakes are then.

grant you are a push mower man, not a tractor man? cest la vie.