Wednesday, August 24, 2005

In Dreams…

There’s a refrain in Roy Orbison’s song In Dreams I really like. It goes “In dreams you’re mine / All the time.” I like it because at that point the song becomes less cloying and takes on a more desperate tone, a bit stalkery if you please. Which reminds me, I also liked the Guns-n-Roses song Patience when I though Axl was singing “If I can’t have you right now, I’ll rape you.” Of course, he was actually saying “If I can’t have you right now, I’ll wait, dear.” Curse you, Google, for ruining that song for me.

Anyway, back to what I originally planned to blog – dreams. A lot of people put serious stock in them. Personally, I think dreams are just movies the brain shows overnight when it gets bored, but they can be entertaining. Take this one for instance:

I was in a mall shoe store glancing at the wares when I spotted an employee ducking though the curtain into the stock room. I wondered what was back there and decided to investigate. My curiosity was rewarded – I found a room full of shoes, and a door leading to the utility corridor. I opened the door and stepped into an alternate universe. Walking among the stars, I turned to my left and saw Darth Vader approaching, accompanied by a pair of roaring 20’s gangsters (polished spats, pin-striped suits, tommy guns and all). The thugs grabbed me and Darth injected my face with chocolate for encroaching upon his realm. I ran from the mall, jumped in my car, and raced home to tell my friends goodbye before I died. As the chocolate spread, making my face look like a blood sausage, the police pulled me over for speeding. I awoke as I was trying to convince the trooper to let me go before it was too late. For some reason, he didn’t believe that Darth Vader had fatally vaccinated me with chocolate after I invaded his alternate realm accessed through the back of a mall shoe store. The fuzz are always so freaking skeptical.

Appypolylogies if I blogged this before, but my bored old brain is a tad leaky. I can’t remember trivial things like recent posts, or peoples’ names, or laws concerning violent crime (I think it’s okay to kill people if I really feel like it).

Speaking of which, don’t you agree that all spammers should be publicly circumcised with a rusty chainsaw? Or should we use shards of broken glass? Discuss.


Weary Hag said...

Spammers, in my humble opinion, should all be chocolated but perhaps not by someone as suave as Vader... I'm thinking by Jabba. But what do I know?

Schotzy said...

The chainsaw circumsision really plants a pleasing picture in my mind. Good Post. S

Nobius said...

The Death Sentence seems approrpriate for SPAMMERS.

I think dreams occassionally have significance but more to do with how your body processes all of the information that it takes in a day (terrabytes worth I believe).

My dreams are always in color.

And usually have lots of sex.

And the devil.

I dream alot about the devil.

There must be something wrong with me.

And Axl said it best when he said, "You don't want my love, you want satisfaction." Man, the unplugged version of that song rules.

They don't make 'em like AXL anymore.

He's crazy! :)

sands of time said...

I agree with you on the spammers part.You know ive always wondered what would happen if i went through that door in the shoe shop.