Monday, August 08, 2005

Day 29

Two more days (counting today) and I can go back to fast food and sodas. Not that I want to, but I have the option to commit gastrointestinal suicide available if I desire. As I’ve indicated before, most of this will be a permanent change: no unnatural foods made with loads of chemicals, no foods made with sugar (especially megasugars) as a primary ingredient, no caffeine, and no fast food of any kind (which generally involves all of the above).

And speaking of suicide, the electricity went out in my apartment yesterday during a thunderstorm. You people think you have problems? I had to try to exist without power for about two hours. With no electricity there is no computer, no TV, no microwave oven, no reason to live. I would have killed myself to deal with the boredom, but I couldn’t type out the required note. Besides, my oven is electric and federal law states you’re supposed to use a gas oven, although I think I could fricassee my noodle on electric broil just as easily as with gas.

And speaking of suicide, have you ever wondered what would be the most painful way to off yourself? I think standing on an electric meat cutter and slicing yourself into paper thin filets from the feet up would have to be a serious contender. What do you think?

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