Another Healthy Lunch

First off, I wrote this whole post (including all the links) in blogger’s editor and it DISAPPEARED just before I published it. Curse you, blogger! I think I’ll take my own advice and begin writing all my posts in MS-Word before letting blogger get it’s talons into my ramblings.

Today I had Lean Cuisine’s Glazed Turkey Tenderloins with dressing and whipped sweet potatoes for lunch. Sound healthy? I read the ingredients and saw it contained basically everything I’ve been trying to avoid, like high fructose corn syrup in the dressing, modified corn starch with the veggies, and hydrogenated oil slathered on the turkey. And just what is “brown sauce flavor?” I’m going to be careful with LC meals in the future. They’re not all alchemy runoff, but there are no guarantees with those people. In the future I think I’ll have more Campbell’s Microwaveable soups or entrees from Amy’s Kitchen.

I’ve only encountered one problem with the organic frozen meals: a lack of edible variety. They all seem to come in one of three categories: lasagna/enchiladas, meat substitute, or too exotic for everyday use. I love the lasagna and enchiladas, but even veggie lasagna gets old before long. I like exotic Asian and Indian dishes like pad Thai or channa masala, but not on a daily basis. Us Southern gents have to have our comfort foods like meatloaf and mashed taters, or chicken and mashed taters, or catfish and mashed taters, or watermelon and mashed taters, or a baked potato loaded with chili and cheese and onions and broccoli and mashed taters.

But the meat substitutes are not an option. I’ve tried them a few times (too many) and have decided that the first step in becoming a vegetarian must be to have your taste buds removed. Anybody who’s ever had a good steak will know that there’s nothing tofu can do to compete. Besides, as any vegan will tell you, meat is murder and, as any psycho can tell you, that tastes great. There’s nothing more satisfying than tracking your prey to exhaustion, leaping upon it with howls of lust and fury, sinking your teeth into its neck and listening its screams of agony and the snapping of tendons as its warm, salty blood dribbles down your chin onto the damp earthen floor*. Eggplant just can’t give you that, not even with extra cheese and garlic.

Lunch wasn’t very filling. Some of those squirrels outside the window are beginning to look mighty tasty. I wonder how they would be on a bed of greens with a light citrus vinaigrette and some Dublin cheddar on the side?

* FYI – experience has taught me that some companies discourage this type of behavior in the break room.