Thursday, July 07, 2005

Salute the Flag

I’m posting an image of the British flag as a show of support for Great Britain.

(suggestion and image patriotically liberated from Gib)

Naturally, my first impulse as a good American was to sue the crap out of them for stealing our colour scheme, but the country that gave us Douglas Adams, Monty Python, Kate Beckinsale, Motorhead, Venom, and the Sex Pistols deserves better. I’m suing France instead.



Lousy frogs. What did they ever give us? Runny cheese, overrated wines, and french fries. Thank you so much for turning us into a nation of McFatasses. :p

Anyway, my thoughts and complete lack of prayers (I’m an evilist) are with England. When the rest of the world begins assign the blame, I request that everybody not stampede straight toward America. If you want to point fingers at somebody, start with the assholes with the bombs.

I am reminded of the night of 9/11. I was still in college, in my English class taught by an ancient prune of a woman who obviously answered “Yes” on her application when asked “Do you hate this country and seek to undermine it?” I believe that’s standard for all higher educators in this country, at least for those seeking tenure. Anyway, she came in and began the class by stating “Now, I’m not trying to say what happened was a good thing…” where “what happened” was the terrorist downing of four jetliners, taking out the World Trade Towers, part of the Pentagon, and thousands of innocent lives from various nations. Then she backtracked and gave us a speech about how, for that to have happened, we must have done something really bad to the terrorists to provoke that kind of response. Most of my fellow students of higher learning nodded intently, seeming to agree with her sentiments. Side note – it has been my experience that college students, in their eagerness to learn by absorbing everything their professors say while giving the actual words and ideas no thought whatsoever, are among the stupidest life forms on the planet, usually somewhere between “slug” and “avocado” depending on the amount of caffeine in their system.

I’m not trying to say this country (or any other for that matter) is perfect, I only maintain that there is no atrocity any one nation can inflict upon any other that logically leads to random mass murder as a measured response. It’s like treating a cold with physician-assisted suicide, or removing a tumor with a scattergun. And while I’m at it, McDonalds never gives me enough ketchup (although that won’t matter starting Monday) and I can never find my favorite kind of detergent. And why can’t I find an official website for Venom?

Oh, right. England. Our thoughts are with you.

4 comments:

Sask 1 said...

Seems the terrorists always target the poor innocent people just getting on with their lives.Do they really think that blowing up Joe from down the road is going to get them support.

annush said...

if i were a terrorist I'd wanna get Bush because if what has happened isn't America's fault, I really believe that American foreign policy has A LOT to do with it...

Weary Hag said...

Well stated post. Very.

Toad734 said...

French Fries or Fritz are actually from Belgium.