Saturday, July 16, 2005

Day Six

Finally starting to feel better, although I think that’s mostly due to sleeping in late today. The headache persists but it’s a tad better; again, I don’t know if it’s a little better or I’m just more used to it. This may explain why all those of you who don’t suck back copious amounts of Mountain Dew are such grouches, and if you think you’re happy now, just think how cheerful you would be if you gave into the urge. Go on. You know you wanna.

At least I made it back to the gym today. I was worried that I would crash again, like I have been at the office, but that didn’t happen. I actually felt invigorated by the end of my workout – tired muscles, but I had plenty of energy to make it through. I noticed how attentive the muscle-bound guys who worked there were with the new patrons, provided they were young and female and attractive enough. I don’t really blame them. Showing off for the ladies is probably the only perk that comes with their job. One of them was very quick to occupy a bench press machine after I had finished, making something of a show that he couldn’t demonstrate how to use it without more weight. I thought how to deal with this in the future, and although an axe to the face seems measured and appropriate, it’s missing that poetic justice that defines me. Maybe I’ll just bring my bank statement to the gym in the future and drop it at their feet. “Oops, dropped that again. All those numbers to the left of the decimal point make it kind of heavy.” :p Not that I make a lot of money, but I’m hoping a better paycheck is the one advantage over working in a gym.

By the way, Mrs. Butterworth’s is sweet death in a bottle. I have some all-natural buckwheat wildberry frozen waffles that passed muster but as the bible says, waffles without syrup just suck. I know any proper syrup must have some form of sugar for it’s main ingredient, but like a spoonful of sugar for my porridge or oat bran flakes I decided it wouldn’t be too much in small doses. Then I read Mrs. Butterworth’s ingredients. They are (without the fancy names) sugar, sugar, water, salt, gum, sugar, salt, salt, citric acid, caramel color, natural and artificial flavors. I hope the store has something less lethal, like a jug of Mrs. Cyanide’s.

2 comments:

Toad734 said...

Cant you get pure maple syrup?

Grant said...

I'm avoiding the waffles for the duration of this experiment just because there's no such thing as sugarless syrup (not counting artificial sweeteners, which I'm definitely avoiding), but when it's over that's the way I plan to go. I had hoped some of the fruit syrups were naturally sweetened, but the only ones I saw in the stores were made primarily with meta-sugars like high fructose corn syrup.