Day Four

As hoped, I am beginning to feel better. Mostly I have normal energy levels, although I have endured a few periods of nearly crashing today. The only lingering ill effect I’m having is that dull headache. It’s a little worse today, but I’m getting used to it so it’s not affecting me much. Maybe it’s a tumor that had been held in check by the daily dosages of Mountain Dew, but now has nothing to stop it so it will swell and devour my brain until my head explodes, spraying diseased brain matter all over my cube-mates. I estimate I should have until next Thursday, 1:27 PM EST. Until that happens, I hope to develop some sort of mental superpowers. With luck I’ll get pyrokinesis, the ability to set and control fires with the mind. It should make my last week on earth very interesting.

So far, the only observation I’ve been able to make is that god wants us all to partake of massive quantities of sugar and caffeine to enhance our lives, or he might bash in our skulls. Otherwise, all the stuff’s the same.