Random Post

Week two of Daylight Savings Torture continues. My imagination has returned to me. Now all I need is some coherence and memory and I’ll be set.

So, while my brain is being productive yet unfocused, allow me to say flithoop boober swapplepen and freem. The great black dog will arise and tramp across Cassiopeia in the moonless sky. All fear the hoary host of the netherworlds. Happiness is within a blade of grass.

In other news, Corporate Americans obviously have nothing to say. Sometimes I go to the vending machines for breakfast and get a bag of Fritos. Inevitably, I pass someone on the way back to my desk who says something clever like “Got some Fritos, huh?” or ever present “Breakfast of Champions.” Might I politely suggest to everyone that if you have nothing to say, then say that (nothing). Even better, can congress pass a law giving me a temporary license to kill whenever I receive another insipid greeting? Naturally, I would use some good old human judgment and match the murder weapon to the phrase.

“Got some Fritos, huh? *slit* gurgle” – straight razor against throat.
“Going home? *fwoosh* Aaaagh!” – flame thrower to body
“Another day, another dollar. *blam-blam* *splatter*” – double barrel twelve gauge to the face
“Someone’s got a case of the Mondays. *thud* Oof!” – dead blow hammer to private parts. Repeat ‘til death.

As usual, a little rampant violence would do wonders for our society. If the offenders didn’t learn their lesson, they would become conveniently dead. Naturally, our so-called government does nothing to ensure this utopia. Our path is clear. Next time, vote for anybody who is against DST.