Drinkin’ About You

Random memory of the day: I was once invited to a birthday party for a lovely woman that I barely knew. I asked a few questions and found she liked butterflies, so I put together a butterfly-themed gift package. I decided to bring a mixed drink to the festivities, so I scoured the online drink lists looking for something called a Butterfly. The search engines returned no results, so I scanned the alphabetical lists. Again nothing, but I did come across a delightful sounding drink called the Buttsex.

The recipe for Buttsex is six ounces of orange juice mixed with a twelve ounce beer. The only beer-based mixed drink I had heard of was the boiler maker, sometimes called the depth charge (drop a shot of anything into a twelve ounce beer and chug), which sounded better than B and OJ. I thought about it and was immediately beset with the following scene:

A tall cowboy enters a honky-tonk dive. Pale smoke and Hank Williams tunes swirl around his Stetson as he strides across the concrete floor. He places one snakeskin boot on the foot rail, beer bellies up to the bar, nods to the bartender, and announces in a deep Southern voice “I’ll have some buttsex.” To which the bartender smiles, winks knowingly, removes a double-barreled scattergun and blows his head across the back wall. “Ya’ll done heard what he said. That thar’s self defense.”

But I did manage to find a drink called the Iron Butterfly, comprised of one part Kahlua, one part Bailey’s Irish Cream, and one part vodka. It tastes great and can drop a charging buffalo at fifty feet. Bon appetit!

Hic, out