Monday, December 20, 2004


I’m doing my best to be a Sensitive New-Age Guy, but you women have got to work with me.

When I’m in the gym surrounded by hot sweaty women in revealing workout clothes, I do my best to use my peripheral vision and not gawk openly. I understand that most women are there to get a good workout, not to be hit upon by every guy who can curl a meat lover’s pizza and a case of beer. Having said that, I wish you ladies would meet me halfway.

Tonight, while Satan Sue propelled me on the treadmill, a hard-bodied Asian woman walked up next to me and started undressing. Without a word, she kicked off her shoes, unbuckled her belt, and dropped her pants. When she peeled off her top I finally saw that she was wearing shorts and a jogging bra underneath, which is when I realized that I had been openly staring at her for nearly a minute. I forced my attention back to my treadmill, but then decided I shouldn’t feel guilty for violating her privacy. Being a SNAG is one thing, but (fair warning) I think I should be allowed to stare at any woman who publicly undresses. I don’t know why she didn’t use the locker room. She probably didn’t want to have to walk that far before beginning her run. Anyway, I scoped her out with my peripherals as she bundled up her clothing, tied her hair back, put her shoes back on, and slipped a digital media player onto her arm. But it wasn’t an iPod, so I win.

Side note – I can now lift a ton over my head, provided that you let me do it in hundred pound increments with a couple of rest breaks thrown in. Fear my mighty bulging muscles, at least in a few days when they don’t hurt as much.

Other side note – Satan Sue now has more than three gigs of information stored, so I’m glad I got the 40gb model instead of the mini.

I’m huge, out


Valkyrie said...

Don't bother being a SNAG. Honestly, SNAG's are boring. Just be yourself.

I'm here to tell you women gawk as much as men do.

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