I'm not as smart as you think I is.

At work I tend to have a superiority complex - not because I think I'm so smart, but just because I'm surrounded by idiots. Like the time I saw one of my colleagues struggling to open a door. It's one of those things where you swipe your id badge, then the door buzzes for a few seconds and you open it. In her case she paused to think before each step. Remove badge from blouse - pause - swipe through reader - pause - turn door handle. By the time she got to the handle, the buzzing had stopped and she had to repeat the process. I stood patiently by and waited for her to get it right - I knew she would eventually because she had been working there for over a year, and I had seen her inside the office before.

Anyway, things like that tend to give me a swelled head (Ha ha, losers. I usually operate the door correctly on the first try.) so I take heed of the times when I do something stupid, like locking my keys in my car with the music blasting and my groceries baking in the hot sun, or putting toothpaste on my razor and almost shaving my teeth. For today's stupid event I cooked a hamburger for lunch, splattering the stovetop and counter with grease. I started to clean, so I sprayed cleaner all over the place and let it set in. I didn't notice I was using an aerosol can instead of the spray bottle. When I went to clean, I wondered why the grease wasn't lifting as easy as usual. Then I noticed I had hosed the area down with canola oil.

Of course, you people don't know what I'm talking about. I'm sure you've never done anything stupid in your life.

Humility, out