Thursday, September 09, 2004

Brush with the Law, volume one

Contrary to what you might think, I have no arrest record. As an adult I've never been caught doing anything wrong, and my juvenile record has been expunged. Still, I've noticed over the years that I tend to get escorted out of places (bars, concerts, shopping malls, college, church, work, etc.) under armed guard more often than the normal person. Actually, I'm partially kidding. To date security/police have only tossed me out of one shopping mall, one college, and one job (and possibly one party, but that might not count). I've been meaning to blog one of these incidents for awhile. I guess I'll start with the first and shortest tale - the shopping mall.

After Desert Storm, an army buddy of mine wanted to visit one of his friends with whom he had served in Panama, so we took a few days leave and drove to some large town in Texas (Dallas, or maybe Houston). We had fun for awhile, trying the local Chinese restaurants and shooting guns and such. One afternoon we went to the mall to look at CD's, books, play video games, and generally hang around. While in the arcade, a few young army recruits walked in. They were covered in grime (one especially), and weren't wearing their uniforms properly. I didn't think anything of it, but my friend's friend told them they were a disgrace to the uniform and shouldn't be out in public if they couldn't represent the army better than that (or words to that effect - I was playing a game and barely heard). The dirtiest one, kind of the group leader, started cursing at my friend's friend, then the others moved in. My friend backed his friend, and I backed my friend, walking away from a game which cost me a quarter to play. Am I loyal or what? Anyway, before the blows could begin, security arrived which gave the recruits the excuse they needed to break away and go into the mall. My friend's friend explained the situation to the security guards, who seemed sympathetic to our cause. One even told us that the arcade manager had not only called them, but the regular police as well and we should probably go if we didn't want to get arrested. We thanked them and took their advice (they followed us outside just to make sure). On the way out of the parking lot, we passed two squad cars coming in. That may have just been a coincidence, but we all hoped they were there to give the recruits a hard time.

It was a fun trip overall. When we went to pick up my friend's friend's girlfriend at the airport I took my loaded gun in with me just because I thought I could get away with it. I did. Then I got a speeding ticket on the way home. Oh, man - bad karma.

Let me know if you want to hear the other tales.

Escorted, out


Lor said...

You've been kicked out of college?

Grant said...

Yes, I was kicked out of college once, but it was just the one, and not a very big one at that. I've graduated with honors since.

Rys said...

More anecdotes about your brushes with authority please, to go. And a side of fries.