With Age Comes Wisdom

As a child, I frequently dreamt that all the people in the world were oppressed by a sleeping bulldog the size of a pony. We would lie on rubber mats as if asleep, never moving, and make no sounds other than gentle breathing. The slightest rustle would carry through long, plastic tubes (similar to flexible drinking straws) and awaken the beast. The dog would rush from its mat where it slept at the center of the tube collective and devour the offender within seconds (it was very fast). I knew that if we all rose up and attacked together we could defeat it, but an individual would be doomed. I spent long hours hoping someone would signal the attack, then many more trying to find the courage to start the rebellion myself. Neither ever happened. In my teens, the dream reappeared with a twist ending. I finally opened my eyes to discover there was no mat nor tube nor dog. I was actually in a sensory deprivation tank, my reality fed to me by computer, and I was the experimental subject of scientists in white lab coats. Of course, now that I'm all grown up, I realize the ultimate fear is fear itself. That, and the hordes of giant atomic chickens that will, in accordance with prophecy, eventually overrun the planet.

Oh, yeah? Just you wait.

Update on the NetFlix test: all three DVDs were returned within one day, although the two mailed directly from the post office arrived hours before the one mailed from the mail box. Keep in mind that both are within 20 feet of each other and they have the same pickup times posted.